I wrote and rewrote, and re planned today’s post in my head about seven times yesterday. I took photos for a different idea; I tried drafting a sponsored giveaway for later in the week, and nothing was working.
Sometimes when I write I can write anything and it’s ok. Other times I can’t write until I write what I have to, and this was one of those times.
On Sunday I put this up on FB:
I meant it.
I had had a few ‘woe is me’ days last week. I was defeated and upset, feeling very sad and sorry for myself. I get like that occasionally; it happens.
Until I woke up Sunday morning and read something else on FB, and I had an epiphany; the things that I was upset about, the drama I was creating, literally had no value. It was pointless
I was crying boo hoo over things that actually have no power in my life to do anything, except make me miserable if I let it.
What a supreme waste of time and energy.
What an unbelievably pointless way of living.
I was letting the opinion of a few determine my value as a human being. I had giving power to them, for no reason other than the fact that they would take it.
I was fixated on the external; things that were clear and ‘obvious’ and demanding my attention, instead of focusing on the internal. Or eternal as the case may be. I was allowing my heart to be massacred instead of protecting what’s in it. I was forgetting who I am.
In the bible there is the story of a prophet who was literally running for his life. He was quite defeated and demoralised (as you would be.) God told him to go up on a mountain and He (God) would appear to him.
So the prophet went up on the mountain and there was a huge wind, and then an earthquake, and then a fire. All these big grand things that He had grown to expect of God.
And yet it wasn’t until the wind, and the earthquake and the fire had passed, that God actually showed up.
In a gentle whisper.
And it got me thinking:
What if, the things that have real value are not the things we focus on? What if the things that have true worth and purpose are not the ones that yell at us and demand our attention, but the things that whisper quietly to our hearts, hoping that we stop long enough to take notice?
Others will dictate our value and our worth if we let them. But who we are is not defined by their opinion. We are not who others say we are. We are who we choose to be. Out weakness will only be determined by ourselves, and our strengths likewise. We are the only ones who choose to hold us back or move us forward. It’s not the accolades that make us great, or the lack of them that makes us failures. It’s how well we embrace the truth of who we are.
How intently we listen to the whisper.
How well we guard our heart.
And so I’ve decided that as much as I can, I won’t fixate on those stupid, pointless little things anymore. They will have no power over me.
But instead I’ll be quiet and listen to the whisper of my heart. It’s that which will make me truly great.