You know the feeling you get, when you have so much to say, but you’re not really sure how to say it?
Well that’s me right now; a whole bunch of non-coherent thoughts that need some sense made of them, so I’m decreeing it officially brain dump time.
Brain Dump 1: I wrote this fantastic blot post the other day for another blog I write for, but I can’t post it yet. There’s a few reasons why (which I obviously can’t explain), but it’s annoying me, because it actually should be posted now. The reason of which I also can’t say why. Though part of it is that it’s not actually my story to tell. Anyway it’s bugging me, because it’s one of those things that I’ve written that I actually think is really, really great. And perhaps no one will ever be able to agree with me.
Brain Dump 2: Boatman being away is harder than expected, but that’s because there is no phone reception. He has occasionally access to a satellite phone but the calls have to be fairly short, sharp and shiny, which is hard to of when four kids need to say hi. We are pretty much about to invoke Lily and Marshalls’ ‘8 or higher’ rule. (For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, you need to watch How I Met Your Mother. Stat.) This then marks it hard to say anything, because you only want to say what counts and that kind of floats out of my brain the minute I hear his voice. (Probably on account of all the tears.)
Brain Dump 3: Sometimes people’s attempt at helpfulness are, in fact, the exact opposite of helpful. Nothing more needs to be said about that, but if you give me some advice and I have a weird look on my face, it’s because I’m using my self-control to remember you are trying to be kind, and not tell you how very annoying that particular thing you said was.
Brain Dump 4: I have a few great blog ideas. But they are all half concocted in my mind right now, waiting to be fully percolated in my mind before I can birth them.
Brain Dump 5: Yes, I was trying to use as many mixed metaphors in that sentence as possible. It amused me. 😉
Brain Dump 6: It has just occurred to me that brain dump item number 2, may in fact be the reason behind the need for this post at all. Usually Boatman would be the victim of my innate ramblings but seeing as I can’t communicate anything less than an 8 to him, I am writing it here instead. You can blame Bing Bong for that.
Brain Dump 7: I feel completely stupid every time I say the word Bing Bong. It sounds ridiculous. Having said that, I am also a little offended by the number of people who thought that I was joking about it. I know it sounds fake, and that there are occasionally moments of blatant exaggeration on this here blog, but I don’t just make stuff up for the sake of a good story. (Unless perhaps you were wondering what your giraffe says about you. That was clearly absolute rubbish.)
I guess I can understand the confusion. 🙂
Brain Dump 8: I thought I would be cleaner without Boatman here. The last time he went away for a week, I was super efficient and organised. This time, not so much at all. I don’t really know how to justify it either.
Brain Dump 9: I know people keep saying that you get used to the FIFO lifestyle, but honestly, I don’t want to. I just can’t imagine how getting used to not seeing or talking to your partner can be a good thing for a relationship. And I mean no disrespect to those who do it and do it well, (you guys are amazing), but it’s just not something I think that I can do long term. Being told ‘you will get used to it’ is one of the helpful, not so helpful things I’m hearing a lot of, because honestly, I think it should hurt and it should suck. I don’t want it to ever be an easy thing to do. Maybe that’s me being naive or a sook or something else, but this is a brain dump here people. That’s how I’m feeling right now.
Brain Dump 10: I keep feeling like I’m supposed to write something significant about all this lifestyle change, and I can’t write now (That was clearly a grammatical error, but I left it cause it was kinda funny 🙂 ). I’ve already deleted an emo post with a great big happy, uplifting ending. Didn’t like any of it, though there were some great one liners in it. 🙂 The truth is, I’m going through moments of calm purposefulness, where I am aware that this is a great opportunity and this is the path we are supposed to take. And then I have moments where I despise the fact that I even know that Bing Bong is a place and that people work on boats there. Most of the time I’m in the middle. I’m just trying to get from A to B and countdown the sleeps whilst enjoying the moment. Trying to live out the line from a great worship song by Matt Redman:
Let me be singing when the evening comes.
I figure if I can still sing then, we will get though it all ok.
Here endeth the dump.