Ever since I was little, I can remember having really vivid dreams. Well not that I thought they were any more vivid than anyone else’s, but my mum always told me they were.
Maybe she just had really boring ones….?
Anyway, whatever the story, when I dream I dream in detail. One might say surround sound. I can still remember with acute clarity the dream I had as a preadolescent involving a backward high jump, a Peter Pan watch , and a puddle in a pile of gravel.
Sometimes my dreams haunt me. For whatever reason.
Be it the nightmares that are too real, or the dreams that literally go on all night; even when I wake, my return to sleep is heralded by an instant involvement in the previous scenario. Sometimes I have to solve a problem, like how to get my entire family out of the car after it has plunged into the ocean, and the dream reoccurs like an unsolved math problem, until I finally make sure everyone is safe.
The other night, I had a dream. I have no it what sparked it, but it has been haunting me ever since.
We were on a camping trip. My entire family. Driving 4wds by map (think of the muppet movie) to some random little establishment in the middle of nowhere. It wasn’t camping in the strictest sense, cause there were dorms, but we had to share them. It was up to me to work out which room everyone was staying in.
At some point, I became aware that we were planning a wedding. My wedding in fact. I was concerned that I didn’t have the right clothes to wear, but when I put on a white singlet with a long skirt, everyone said that I looked perfect. (All I could see was muffin top, but whatever.)
I just assumed I was marrying Boatman.
Of course I would be.
But as the wedding drew closer I found I wasn’t. Even though he was there, and a guest at the function, my groom was a guy I didn’t really know. He changed periodically from looking like Boatman, to an old high school to crush, and eventually, McDreamy.
The wedding was held in a hall and it was a casual event. A celebrant of some kind announcing the marriage, and then, after that, what can only be described as some kind of sophisticated barn dance. In the dream I clearly remember standing at what was classed as an alter, and wondering why I was marrying this guy, and not Boatman. I was thinking how both were in love with me, and it didn’t matter what I did, I was going to hurt one of them. And, after all, this groom was the one who had proposed.
The wedding ended, everyone returned to their demountable type rooms, and I was left with my new husband in what passed for an upmarket hotel, to consummate the marriage.
But before that, the man of my dreams asked boatman what was to become of his car.
I was confused. Why was that an issue?
It turned out, that not only was Boatman a willing guest, but he had also organised a surprise honey moon, and was going to tow my new husbands car home behind his.
I lamented, of course, about how I couldn’t possibly go to a romantic island with the clothes I had packed, but Boatman assured me it was ok, whilst looking about as sad as a person could. The he said when I was back, we would work out what would happen with the kids.
It was at this point I realised that boatman and I, despite not being married, or ‘involved’ apparently, still had four children and lived together.
Whilst I processed this information, he left and I returned to the ‘honey moon suite’ and my new husband.
Whilst getting ready for bed, I had an epiphany.
A moment of clarity that struck me in my dream and has stayed with me ever since.
Boatman is my best friend.
And it struck me (in my dream), that whatever happened, I couldn’t live life without my best friend. I couldn’t be married to any man that wasn’t him.
So, in the middle of the night, on my wedding night, I ran across the camp ground to the dining hall where boatman sadly played pool on his own, and told him that my marriage was over; he was the only one I could love.
I know it was just a dream; but there was something almost Hollywood about the way it payed out in my mind, and the mere notion of not being with my Tim was more than I ever want to consider.
Because it’s not just in my dreams; he is my best friend. The one I look to to laugh at when things are funny (and we’re the only ones laughing.)
The one who gets me, ALL the time, even when I’m so unbelievably random.
The one who loves me wholly, completely and irrevocably. Who tells me every day with a look of absolute wonderment in his eyes, that I am his favourite person, and he doesn’t want to be with anyone else.
I never thought love could be like this. I never knew you could love someone so much it hurt all the time.
In every way, he is my soul mate, my best friend and the one who completes me.
Beautifully, wonderfully, unreservedly.
I’m the luckiest woman in the world.