At the time of writing this, I am sitting at my kitchen table, sweating like a very un ladylike pig, and trying desperately to mentally go through my to do list, to make sure nothing has been forgotten.
At the time of publishing this, I’ll be sitting on a plane, about to descend into Sydney, and hopefully much more calm and relaxed.
Between now and then, there’s a lot of time to panic though.
There’s also a lot of time to cry and feel guilty for leaving my babies (I’ve already sobbed once or twice today.)
A lot of blog comments and emails to respond to before I get completely behind.
A lot of beer to stack, and customers to serve, since I’ve just found out I now have to work tonight.
A lot of cuddles to fit in with my kids, and lots more kisses for them all too.
Right now, it’s all just a lot of too much, and has me wondering ‘why on earth am I going?????’
On the flip side, it couldn’t have come at a better time.
I’ve been floundering a little blog wise the last month. Struggling more than usual to write the words I need to say, or to find what needs to be said. I’ve been considering direction and goals; do I need them? Will they make things better, or tie me down?
On the weekend, I was tidying up my category sections, and it gave me a chance to go through some of my very first posts. My, how things have changed since then. Some changes good, others not so good. I’ve been wondering if I need to try and reclaim some of the inspiration that drove me back then, or is that just going backwards? Maybe new is always better?
One thing I did realise though, was that I was much more devoted to my family back then. These days I have so many online obligations, I can go days without spending any significant quality time with my kids.
Which doesn’t really help absolve the mother guilt I’m feeling about leaving right now…
I think there has to be some kind of change, I’m just not sure what or how.
So I’m looking forward to the next few days of DPCON13. To relaxing and meeting friends new and old. To hearing some blog tips and hopefully getting some new direction. (It was last years conference that convinced me to rebrand).
I’m looking forward to Walking in Her Shoes, with the Digital Parents tea.
I’m also kinda excited to miss my kids, and Boatman. To really realise and remember just how much I love being around them.
And I’d be lying if I couldn’t wait to experience some cool weather that did not have me sitting here sweating like the afore mentioned farm animal.
So all in all, I think it’s a good thing this next few days away. The stress and the guilt before hand, is not so much fun, but I’m thinking that by the time I read this tomorrow, I’ll wonder what all the fuss was about.
Just a note, since a lot of #TeamIBOT will be attending DPCON13, there may be a few less comments than usual, and they may arrive later in the week. Some of the girls though, have kindly volunteered to take up the slack, so it’s not all bad. And maybe if the rest of you have a few spare minutes, you could be a little more generous with your comment love too. Just cause you’re all so kind like that 🙂