Do you know how many blog posts I wrote last week?
Do you know how many I published?
Last week was not a good week for blogging. Or assignments. Or desperately craved fiction writing. Last week all the words fell out of my head, and the ones that didn’t made very little sense and much like Chum, were not fit for human consumption.
It occurred to me, that there comes a point in every blogger’s life when you have to look yourself square in the eye and say, ‘Jess (or whatever your name is), step away from the blog.’
If just for a day.
There were several clues for me that such a drastic measure needed to be taken. The first came on Thursday. I was sitting at my laptop, happily tip-tapping away on my computer, when I suddenly realised that I may have already written the blog post I was writing. I hit save, returned to my homepage and had a recent post check. Nope, not there, maybe I just thought I had written it?
So I went back to my redrafting, and again, that nagging filling hit me, so this time I checked out my drafts. Yes. I had written this post.
Now one might argue that three attempts means it really needed to be rewritten. I personally am of the view-point that three unfinished drafts means it really doesn’t.
So I gave up on that very lame post, deleted all the drafts and started again, on something new.
It was rubbish. So I thought of another idea. Nope, also rubbish.
So then I set about writing something really heartfelt, which was less rubbish, but not exactly the kind of thing one puts on the internet. I saved that on the computer for another day, and gave up blogging. There would always be tomorrow.
Or so I thought.
On Friday, my struggles continued, except that instead of duplicating content, I couldn’t spell. At all. It was like the ability to put letters in any kind of correct order completely abandoned me and left me staring at little red wiggles on the screen thinking why? Bec from Seeing the Lighter Side happened to message me at that moment, and very kindly listened when I debated what the contraction of ‘there are’ was. There’re was not really looking the way I thought it should.
Of course, there is no contraction for there are. Or not a real one anyway, and with good reason too. Have you ever tried to pronounce there’re? It’s not an easy thing. It makes Jenna from 3O Rock’s movie cameo in Rer Jer (Rural Juror) sound like an actual thing.
Upon realising I was forcing ridiculous contractions upon my TAFE lecturer, I should have just stopped, but I didn’t. Instead I posturised over how to spell posturise, and why, no matter how many times I changed the letters around, it never looked right.
It turns out — and once again thanks Bec for being the voice of reason when I clearly had none — that posturise is not a word. Postulate, yes, but posturise, no. If it was, I’m thinking it would be the way a cow stands while its milk gets modified for market. (Get it? 😛)
Come yesterday, and I was a little nervous about blogging. What if my words didn’t work? What if I said the same thing I had already said? Clearly the solution was to do things differently, so while I sat in the car waiting for the kids to finish school, I decided to dictate today’s post.
Siri clearly missed the part about me needing help with sensible words, and instead set about using my words to construct a whole new world of creativity. With gems such as these:
“No I haven’t had sex as I went back to drive trucks and Lauren thought no I have definitely.”
Thank you to all the Laurens out there for your support. I’m hoping it’s support for my truck driving, otherwise it’s just weird.
I did learn that the key to successful dictation was to speak slowly and clearly and enunciate every syllable.
I also learnt that enunciate is translated to ‘eat every syllable,’ which kind of defeats the purpose.
My dictated post proved to be the most troublesome. Not only were the words redundant and the spelling- well ok but not for the right words, but it made even less sense than my previous postulations.
For instance posturise became, ‘pasteurise’, ‘apostolate’ and ‘pasture iced.’
Blog post became ‘cost rising’.
There’re became ‘there are hello.’ Or course.
Talking into my phone like a crazy woman, did stay as ‘talking like my phone into a crazy woman.’ At least it’s apt.
It took me more time to translate my dictated post, than it did to read through a forum on the pros and cons of there’re in modern English. And just so you know, I spent my time reading that: grammar forums are my guilty pleasure.
Anyway at the end of any rambly blog post that meanders pointlessly from self-deprecation to… further self-deprecation, there is a good moral.
Some days you just need to step away from the blog. If just for a day.
But not today, because, you know, IBOT. 🙂
Do you ever give up on writing blog posts?
Made up any new words lately?
Can you think of a better definition for posturise?
What are your thoughts on there’re as a contraction?
Apologies for the overly large images. My blog is punishing me for ignoring it.