I’ve been absent from the blog for a few days, which is unlike me.
I love blogging and writing and I feel the itch to to do it almost constantly.
The last few days have not seen me un-inspired; rather exactly the opposite. I’ve just been busy.
There have been birthdays and parties and sick kids and parenting courses and a quilting project with an unreasonable dead line that has sucked out every last minute. My washing has reached epic proportions, and it’s quite possible that there are more clothes on the line and in my ironing pile than there are in the cupboards, leaving scarcely a moment to write.
But even when I’m not putting myself out here, I’m always thinking what I would write, what I would say if I had the audience.
I quite often draw inspiration from music. Certain songs resonate with me so deeply, I can’t help but want to expand on their meanings.
It’s been this way the last few days.
The song in question, is a relatively new one, by one of my favourite bands, The Fray.
There are so many reasons I can relate to the lyrics; more than I have the time to get into now, but it is the chorus’ constraint refrain that resonates so deeply with me.
Run for your life.
There have been times when I feel like I’m waiting for my life to begin. That everything around me goes on and on, and I am caught up in the busyness without a choice or a purpose. Just going with the flow, and waiting for the my big break so I can finally start living.
But I am living.
This is my life and it’s the only shot I get at it.
If I sit around hoping something magical will happen, I’ll still be sitting around when I’m 85 wondering where it all went.
I need to make things happen.
To run, for my life.
The season with young kids, is exhausting. Minutes blend into hours and hours into days, and before you know it it’s Christmas again and you’re wondering what to stuff the turkey with.
It’s easy to get lost in an either/or mentality.
EITHER you’re stuck with kids, wallowing in the mundane and not see yourself as anything more than just a mum.
OR you’re determined to not lose who you were before kids, and so fight tooth and nail to keep your identity autonomous from your child raising responsibilities, which is hard and exhausting.
Sometimes we get the balance right. We are happy with the status quo and enjoying the blessedness of our lives.
But mostly, most of us, are looking for something more.
For some kind of meaning and purpose and grand plan.
I don’t believe human beings were designed to live small; we all have the potential for greatness, but it’s what we do with that potential that sets aside the ordinary from the extraordinary.
I’ve had five insanely busy days. In many ways they were busy because that’s how my life is. And yet they were also full of deviations from the norm.
As Monday morning dawned, I realised the busyness was over. The birthdays were done (for about 15 days according to Taylah) the quilt finished and sent off, and the housework could be tackled.
I can not believe how excited I was to do the housework. To get the insane load of washing under control, and to walk on clean floors.
To blog again; to write down all these thoughts and share them with you.
To read stories on the couch and have bedtime conversations because I’m not so exhausted I can’t bare the thought.
To get back to my life.
I loved my crazy five days.
And I love the quiet mundane jobs of being a stay at home mum.
I am living my life and I am enjoying it. I have purpose and direction and a sense of greatness that I will chase down and tackle till I lay hold of it, and not just hope for the best. A feeling that the life I am living, carries eternal significance, even when everything appears contrary to that fact.
I am running for my life.
What about you?
Run and you don’t give up
All that you are
All that you want
Run for your life right now
And if you don’t know how
I’ll come back with you and take all that’s true
Leave all that’s burned behind
So run for your life
Run for your life
Run For Your life- The Fray