This post written in collaboration with Hello Mamas
At the time of writing this, my kids are at school in their pyjamas. And it’s not because they got ready too late and I made them go undressed as a consequence (I get the feeling they would like that), but because it’s the last day of term, and pyjamas are the casual day dress theme.
I’m inwardly cringing.
It’s odd I know, and to be fair I have nothing at all against pyjamas — in fact I find them very useful when it comes time to sleeping. I’m just not the sort of person who likes to wear them outside of bed. Not being able to shower and get dressed on Christmas day before gift giving time, pushes me well out of my comfort zone; I like to be clean and dressed to start the day, and that’s just how I am.
I’m also not a fan of at home pyjama days. I know some people love them; the ability to lounge around in stretchy pants and do nothing is a great luxury. I’ve never been that way inclined. If I’m in my pyjamas after eight o clock it’s because I’m not well or having a supremely bad day, and the lack of proper ‘day’ attire will be adding to my stress. I understand how weird this makes me sound to some people. 🙂
Now if you’re wondering why I’ve decided to dedicate 223 words (so far) to the detriment of bed-appropriate clothing, it’s because I’ve been invited to join the Hello Mamas Website as one of their Aussie influencers. And while I have no idea what their stance is on regard to pyjama day (I’m going to guess they are pro- most people are), I do know that their whole website is created with the goal of helping mums find great mum friends. (And this does relate to pyjamas; I’m getting there 🙂 )
We often argue that mums need mum friends to laugh with, commiserate with, or just be understood by. And they are all valid arguments. But I also think that one thing that mums are really good at, is understanding that we are more than just the makers of tiny people.
We are people with ideas and thoughts; frustrations and quirks (which may or may not involve the wearing of pyjamas throughout the day).
We have our own hopes, and dreams and desires, and while we choose to put these on hold for the sake of beautiful babies that hold a finger in one tiny hand, and our heart in another, at some point all mums come out of the baby bubble and feel a little lost. Mothering is arguably the greatest and most important thing we will ever do, but that doesn’t mean it has to be ALL that we will ever do. And while I would argue that kids need to be our top priority and not neglected for the sake of our dreams, I don’t believe we need to forsake our dreams either because of our kids. Call me crazy, but I think parenting can be more than just sitting at home in pyjamas because that’s become the norm.
Having friends who are also mothers is essential, because they understand the battle for balance; chances are they having the same one, and so they are perfectly positioned to remind you of who you are, when your identity threatens to get lost in-between school drop offs and trying to match up lost socks. But they will also be the ones to draw you back to the blessing that is motherhood because it’s the same joy they live with every day.
A mum friend is the one who will understand and think nothing of you still being in your pyjamas at ten o clock in the morning because sometimes that’s how life is. But she’s also the first one to remind you of who you are so that you get out of the PJ’s and into the shower. We all need a woman like that in our life, just as we all need to be that woman to someone else.
I love being a mum; I have four awesome kids who bring me joy (and frustration) on a daily basis.
I also love being me, and doing the things I’m good at, and enjoying who I’m supposed to be.
Having good mum friends around to help me love both, is just the icing on the cake.
And as for pyjama day; well I know the kids will enjoy it, just like so many others do. But I’m much more relaxed dressed ‘properly’ at home, typing away and doing what I do second best.
How do you go finding the mum/person balance?
Do you have great friends who help you be you?
Have you checked out the Hello Mamas Facebook page? They’ve got a great competition going at the moment. 🙂