Today, whilst all of you are happily at home reading wonderful IBOT posts, I shall be at the dentist.
Alas, tis true.
You see, I am getting old.
Well, I must be, because with age comes wisdom, and I, my friend, have so much wisdom it is forthcoming out of my gums and displaying it self as pearly white seals of knowledge.
Pearly seals that hurt my mouth and make me a little cranky, but still. It is proof that I am obviously very wisdomous.
Or possibly just getting old, but we shall ignore that shall we?
Not many people in my family have wisdom teeth. My parents have never gotten them, and I think only one of my three sisters has, which just goes to show that I am obviously superior to them in every way.
Consider me, if you will, the Solomon of my family. Not the richest, and I have no wives, but I am burdened with the dear privilege of blessing one and all with my wisdom. (And I’m counting on the fact that none of the afore mentioned family members read my blog!)
Unfortunately, I think they’re going to have to extract my wisdom.
It’s not that it’s painful, (or not to the point that I can’t stand it), but rather that it’s crooked, and starting to cut into the side of my cheek.
It shouldn’t really come as a surprise to anyone that any wisdom I possess is slightly askew; I do tend to look at the world differently than most. But crooked or not, I’m rather proud of my pearlers, if only because it obviously proves my genetic specialness.
And the thought of having to remove them is slightly concerning. Not because of the surgery, or the fact that I’ll have a couple less teeth in my mouth, but rather because there is a tiny part of my brain that is actually convinced my wisdom is implanted in my gums. (Like I said: askew.) If they take them out, what will I have left?
It was suggested to my by someone who shall remain nameless, (but it’s pretty easy to guess), that upon the extraction of wisdom, I may have an increased libido. And considering the general condition of the Y population, there is some merit to that theory.
The only concern though, is what happens if that comes back crooked as well?
So think of me today, whilst you drink your coffee, and comment on people’s posts. I’ll be looking at the pictures of extreme mountain sports taped to the dentists ceiling, whilst he prods around in my mouth, and probably tells me I need a filling or two, pondering the removal of my wisdom, and what it might possibly be replaced with.