There is a patch of road I hate.
Except I didn’t know that I hated I until yesterday.
I drive down it almost every day, and it never bothers me. To be fair I don’t think it is the road; just the destination.
Bridie’s ear got infected again. Last week she had a fever (which is rare for her), pain and then there was discharge. The GP says the hole is still there. About the quarter the size of the ear drum instead of 2/3 so that is a small mercy; but it is still there.
We see the ENT next week, and I guess we will find out were to go from there.
But I don’t want to see the ENT to be honest.
I don’t want to drive that road again.
The GP order an x-ray of Bridie’s adenoids. It’s a long shot, but it’s possible that they are pushing on the tube from the ear, so that infection can’t get down, and instead goes back through the drum.
There is no real indication that her adenoids are overly large. She doesn’t snore, can breath with her mouth shut, and is not nasal when she speaks. But her tonsils are a little on the big side, which means the adenoids might be too. At this point, I think we are clutching at straws to be honest. Looking for anyway to make this better.
The X-ray appointment was at the Darwin Private Hospital.
It’s the same place we see the ENT when he comes up from Adelaide.
It’s the same place we have appointments with Anesthetists, and take pre-admission forms.
It’s the same place that it seems Bridie and I, on our own, drive to far too often, so that I can watch them out my baby to sleep, and then leave her in the care of others, whilst I sit and pray for a miracle.
I hate that road.
The X-ray was hard. She didn’t want to do it, and she cried. It took about ten minutes to calm her down. The girl who bravely faced surgery without a flinch, cried over one picture.
But I got it.
It wasn’t the picture. It was the frustration over being here again .
I could have cried myself.
But despite all that, I am thankful.
I’m thankful for my GP; she is wonderful. She is friendly and considerate and she listens. She is concerned about Bridie and my family. She will stay after hours if I need to see her, and there are no appointments available.
I’m thankful for the ENT; he is fantastic. He works in the Adelaide CBD, he comes to Darwin every six weeks, and he travels through rural SA as well, but he always knows who we are. He never has to check his notes or refresh his memory. It’s as if Bridie is his only patient, or at least the most important one. He has not just followed normal procedures for her; he has seen that she is exception and treated her as so.
I’m thankful that Boatman can come home to watch the others when I need to do these things. So that I can focus all my attention on Bridie, and keep her her calm.
I’m thankful for his work car, with less than 500kms on the clock, and it’s awesome breaks. Just as we got to the hospital, someone pulled out in front of us and we missed them by centimeters. Bridie actually had a mark on her neck from the seat belt we had to stop so fast.
I’m thankful for seat belts.
Next week we see the ENT again, get the results of the X-ray and find out if and when another surgery is on the cards.
Next week I may have to tell my little girl that it is in fact, not over yet.
Next week I’ll drive down that road again.
But today….today I will be thankful for that road. Because that road, as much as I hate it, takes us to where we need to go, time and time again.
And one day, hopefully in the not so distant future, we will not have to drive that road again.
Can you find the silver lining in your day?