It’s 8:12 pm on Sunday evening, and I have put my sewing machine away.
This may seem like a fairly trivial matter to some, (or most of you), but to me it is a pivotal moment of character development.
You see, I like to think of myself as a dedicated person. When it comes to a project, I don’t like to stop until it’s done. I will work and work, and fill every spare moment doing what needs to be done, until whatever it is is finished.
I hate things being unfinished.
The problem, is, it’s slightly obsessive. Everything else becomes less important and second place.
Housework, blogging, friendships, children, husband…. everything.
So to walk away from this, an almost finished quilt, just one day out from my self imposed deadline, when it is so close to being done, is not an easy thing.
Tomorrow is our 7th Wedding Anniversary, and the quilt is our combined present. We don’t do much for anniversaries. As Boatman puts it, we have the rest of our lives together, why does the passing of another year mark something special?
This year, however, is special because it marks the infamous ‘seven year itch.’ Apparently come morning, I am going to feel the need to start checking out other men, and fantasise about leaving my husband for them.
I’m not sure why seven years is the year for that. Maybe because it’s like a whole week of years? People feel the need for an extended weekend or something?
I dunno, but I do know that I am not itchy.
Not in the slightest.
And the reason why, is because we are not done.
We are not finished being who we are supposed to be; becoming more and more alike and in tune as the days go on. We haven’t finished learning to love each other better, and more fully. We haven’t finished making this marriage everything it can be.
Kind of like my quilt.
Now you can’t tell from the dodgy photo (hopefully), but this quilt has so many mistakes. I blame the instructions. They were unclear and contradictory.
But as I have worked on this fabric, sewing and stitching, and trying to salvage bits that seemed unsalvageable, I have realised just how like our marriage it really is.
We set out to create something beautiful. Something that would brighten a room, provide warmth in the cold, and give small children a soft place to rest their head.
We have muddled our way through advice sometimes unclear and contradictory, and made too many mistakes. There are patches where we can see where we went wrong, and how we have made it right.
And, like the quit, we are still unfinished.
Unlike the quilt through, that is a wonderful thing.
Unfinshed means there is room to grow and get better. To become more beautiful. To learn to love this crazy fishing mad husband of mine, more than I ever thought I could.
To be obsessive.
Not in a ‘we need to get to where we are going,’ kind of way, but in a ‘you will always be the centre of my world,’ kind of truth.
Seven years in not an excuse to start looking elsewhere; its barely a moment in the time line of our lives.
This is just the beginning.
We are not done yet.
Happy Anniversary Boatman. Can’t wait for the rest. xx