Dear iPhone 5 fairy,
That’s quite a standard to live up to.
I wished it wouldn’t come to this. I really did. I don’t like to beg, but desperate times call for desperate measures, and iPhone 5 fairy, I am desperate!!!
My iPhone 4 is dying. I haven’t got an actual diagnosis on her, but it’s clear to us all, she won’t be with us much longer. She’s fighting valiantly on, but her home button is so sticky, it’s only a matter of time until she gets stuck all together, and then iPhone 5 fairy, I’ll be in a pickle.
At the moment, the record is about 24 pushes of the home button. I say about, because 17 is usually where I give up counting and start to squeeze that little circle button like a mad woman, until my thumb starts to cramp with the pressure. Alternatively, I give Boatman pointed looks and make comments about my need for a new phone, until he takes over and pushes the button for me. Invariable it works for him. Which is why I’m sure my phone is a ‘she.’
Now I want you to know, I have thought about ways to get my new phone without calling on your services. I really have.
The problem is that Boatman’s new job, is between contracts. Which is a nice way of saying, they aren’t paying him, so he’s not going. Instead he’s hanging out all say with me, pushing the home button on my phone everytime I start to screech at it.
We’ve both been looking at other forms of employment. Even me.
Unfortunately, my resume looks like this.
Name: Jess Newman
Age: Almost 30 (sob!)
Previous Employment: McDonalds. A squillion years ago.
Boatman, to his credit, tried to flesh it out with some interesting facts about blogging, but on the off chance that a company is run by Rhianna, who is possibly the only person in Darwin who reads my blog, I don’t fancy my chances.
I asked on Facebook, Miss Fairy, if anyone had any ideas for me, that weren’t illegal.
Someone suggested I contact Apple and ask for one in exchange for a review. A great idea, except for one tiny flaw: Apple is a marketing genius. There product is already out there and awesome, and unfortunately, they don’t really need me to give them a bit of extra publicity. Which is a terribly sad state of affairs, but the truth no less.
So with this, I throw myself at your most humble feet! Please, bestow upon me the wonder of a new iPhone 5. Don’t make me choose between continuing to check facebook, or see that twitter notification/Instagram like/text message. Because that’s what it has come too. Once I’m in one app, it’s physically painful (on my thumb) to leave it, unless that little message comes up the top to take me direct. And then I have the dilemma of following the latest news, or continuing what I was doing, and trying to get back to it later.
It’s Sophie’s choice for the digital age.
(Not that I actually have any idea what Sophie’s choice was.)
I’m terrified that one day, it will stop all together, and I’ll be locked in an app forever. And what if it’s not the app that I want?
And which app do I like the most?
How do I choose between Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Messages, Mail, Google Plus, Subway Surfer and Bubble Mania? The original, seasons and blitz?!!
Do you see the pressure I am under here iPhone 5 fairy?
I might crack at any moment.
Please send help in the form of a 32gb white/silver iPhone 5, and I will promise to look after her, cherish her, and buy pretty covers for her all the days of her life.