Yep, totally with you on that. Except for one thing; I’m fairly certain I’m losing my mind. Or quite possibly have already lost it, and have only just become aware of that fact. The ability to string a cohesive thought (let alone a sentence) together is in short supply at the moment, and so the competence required to produce a blog post worth of IBOT, is going to be nothing short of a Christmas miracle.
And I actually had to resort to using thesaurus.com just to write that sentence, on account of using the same word twice, and all the synonyms being on Christmas vacation.
Now in case you thought that perhaps I was exaggerating my current mental ambiguity, I have compiled for your reading pleasure, a list of vague thoughts/words that have characterised my brain matter over the past few days, and if you still don’t believe me after that, you need to eat some pudding.
Because obviously the proof is in the pudding.
And that there is proof POINT 1, that my marbles have definitely left the building. 😉
My sense of humour. Not only am I resorting to lame Christmas jokes that my dad probably wouldn’t deign to tell, but I’m giggling at the most random things, that I’m assuming aren’t funny. And the only reason I can assume that humour is not an adequate adjective, is that when I share said joke, I get looks that suggest I have come from another planet.
Clearly, it would be better for everyone if I could just sleep for a month.
The randomness of the sentences that are coming out of my mouth, is quite astounding. Not only have I lost all ability to correctly call each child by their actual name, I am injecting random words into sentences in order to make the least amount of sense possible. Such as demanding from BJ “Why isn’t your seatbelt on your bottom?”
When clearly what I was trying to say is, “why aren’t you sitting in your chair putting your set belt on?” Which I’m sure would have been clear to absolutely no one apart from me.
This exchange was also just after I had asked him to not stand on the turkey, and just before I informed Taylah that I was not speaking to her, but to my phone.
No. Not ON my phone. TO my phone.
Let’s hope Siri can make some sense of my nonsense.
No such luck unfortunately.
My dreams have gone beyond their usual crazy to a whole new level. The other night it involved me doing a lot of running up and down hills, trying to save some small children stuck at a petrol station, and fighting off evil ghost like creatures who apparently dissipated when flicked with white wine. It was quite convoluted and intriguing, and I was very disappointed when I woke up, because I was quite certain that had I got to the natural conclusion, I could have written the whole thing down, and created a best-selling movie blockbuster.
But probably not.
Because it is imperative that one celebrate the festive season with great hair, I made an appointment to have mine done.
On a Tuesday.
Right in the middle of prime IBOT reading time.
I am clearly functioning at a new level of brilliant right now.
After being told by the school that we could not have Bridie’s report card due to an unreturned library book, I marched over to the librarian and quite adamantly assured him, that not only had all books been returned to the school, but one of those listed had never been borrowed.
The unborrowed book was found the next day.
Thankfully the librarian was very forgiving and offered me cream with my humble pie.
I could have given him proof pudding in exchange.
Or possibly should have given him some Chocolate Raspberry Chambord Balls.
I was so peopled out on the weekend, after work and Christmas parties and what not, that even Facebook was too many people for me. You know it’s bad when even a candy crush request (though welcomed) also makes you want to hide your head under the pillow.
On the other hand, it seems that Candy Crush has become a life saver in terms of energy renewal. Whenever all the festivities are too much, and I just can’t think, I’ve found the mindless activity actually clarifies my mental ability. It’s obviously working because it was whilst playing games that I conceived this literary brilliance in the form of a blog post.
Either that or I have become a hermit who can no longer be around people and spends their day typing random words in the hope that their sentence structure can hopefully outdo their vocalisation and ability to tell a funny joke.
Which is not altogether difficult right now.
After putting together the IBOT newsletter last week, it has just occurred to me I never hit send.
Let’s see how long it will take me to get around to that extremely time-consuming task.
Finally POINT 10.
I spent a great amount of time at Coles wondering if the words ‘whole turkey’ meant it had giblets or not. I’ve had to remove them before and it’s never with great joy.
And whilst I’m yet to discover if giblet removal will appear on my list of activities Christmas morning, I did discover that the difference between the whole turkey and the not a whole turkey was that one is just the breast, and the other is, wait for it……. a whole turkey.
Fairly certain there’s some riveting security footage of the cold section at Coles thanks to me.
But what else would they expect? 😉
Have you completely lost it this silly season?
And in the interest of Christmas spirit, please lie and tell me you have. 🙂
FYI, just a reminder there is no IBOT next Tuesday 24th of December, but we will be back to round out the new year in a fortnight, so bring your A-game. 🙂