I have a confession to make.
When it comes to movies, and TV shows, I am a complete tragic. If I’m hooked, I’m hooked. I want to see every episode at least twice, know all the random info about the characters, and perhaps invite them all to Christmas lunch. They just feel so much like family.
Case in point, on the weekend, Boatman and I watched This is the End, and in one scene one of my favourite characters, from one of my favourite TV shows, got sucked into a gaping hole in the world, and I was all like, “Nooo!!! Not #%^!*^%” (Don’t want to spoil the surprise.) Even by the end of the movie I was deeply lamenting his ruthless character disposal.
Like I said, the characters become family.
Because they are so near and dear to me, I obviously feel inclined to shout at the TV all my words of wisdom, in the hope that they can hear me and change the plot line. You never know, it could work? 😉
If it did, there would be so many story lines I would change, if only the characters would actually listen to me!
1. Buffy chase Riley down!
Although I love Angel, and realise that he was Buffy’s obvious soul mate, the whole losing his soul every time they got intimate thing, was a bit of a drag. Riley, however, was so good for her. Sweet and kind, and obviously adoring, he was perfect for her. Given the chance I, like Xander would have taken her aside and told her not to throw it away, and better than Xander, tell her that before Riley jumped on a helicopter and left her forever. Stability is the one thing a slayer needs.
Good timing is another.
Plus, have you seen his arms?
2. Robin what the hell is wrong with you???
I know that we still haven’t officially met ‘the mother’ yet, and I’m sure she is nice enough, but Ted and Robin just worked for me. I get that Barney and Robin were both the two eternal bachelors who finally settled each other down, but come on ladies, who would choose Barney over Ted? In all of TV land, I’m yet to see someone as romantic as our Teddy Bear. Not only did he steal the blue french horn for her, but he has proved consistently season after season that he can love selflessly and completely.
3. Ross, don’t sleep with the Xerox girl!!!
It’s the question of our generation: were Ross and Rachel on a break or not? Without getting into the semantics of it, given half a minute with the palaeontologist I would have said this: Even if you think it’s over, even if it is over, sleeping with another girl will only put the nail in the coffin. Just don’t do it.
4. Edward, you flipping idiot, don’t leave Forks!
Let’s face it, Bella is an accident prone klutz who is already a target for a bunch of psycho vampires. In what crazy world is leaving her in the midst of a stupor-driven depression in her best interests?
Just think of all the trouble you could have saved with the Jacob triangle if you never left?
Oh and while we are on Jacob, Bella, you’ve been leading him on for years. Be nice and let the poor guy go. Come on.
5. April, Jackson is extreme eye candy, but don’t give up your virginity just yet.
Every time I see this episode of Grey’s I end up in a big ball of tears and not because Jackson has his shirt off. It always casts me back to the moment when I realised I had given away the one thing I had been holding dear, and wondered if that made me a lesser person. If I was anywhere near the medical board exam room when April told Jackson the true reason for her pain, I would have rebuffed with all the conviction born out of painful experience. ‘Jesus doesn’t hate you April. He never ever could.”
And speaking of Grey’s….
6. Christina, don’t have the abortion. Owen, don’t have the affair.
Yes you are both hurt and you both want different things, but fighting for your own way never made any relationship work. Love is sacrifice, and you can both get through this if you learn to give and take.
7. Meredith, you and Derek got your happy ending, but it could have started so much earlier!
I get that happy couples on TV are boring, but these two could have been happy so much earlier, and really, isn’t that what we wanted? Them to get the happy ending and all the dreams and perfect world. Just like Booth and Brennan from Bones, or Doctor Quinn and that Indian Guy, or Peeta Melark and Katniss Everdeen? All the couples that fought against the odds but found each other anyway; isn’t that the dream?
And really, isn’t that what the dream for everyone? Not just the TV characters who let us into their world, but also all the people we know and love and want great things for. Because, if I’m really honest, I spend a lot of time wishing the people I know had the same perspective I did, and could use that to get their own happy ending. I could yell at them just as easily as I yell at the TV. Which possibly means I am a controlling tyrant who thinks they know what everyone needs, or possibly just someone who has a huge heart and wants to see everyone live happily ever after.
Let’s go with the latter shall we? 🙂
What do you yell at the TV?
Do you wish you could orchestrate real life sometimes?
Tell me; where Ross and Rachel really ‘on a break?’