So last week when I decided I was going to start finding the joy in everything, I was clearly unaware that the world was about to turn upside down, and make the pursuit of said joy quite difficult.
And in fact the last few days have been anything but joyful. They have been hard and long and broken by intermittent tears over ridiculous things like an extra chintzes in the pack meant for Boatman, or the writing of a shopping list that suddenly became difficult. It’s enough to make me want to screw this idea and just wallow in a vat of chocolate, except that I realise now, just how much more important finding the joy is. Not only because the kids need me to be together, but because joy is where my strength comes from.
And despite all the heartbreak, there have been some things that have made me smile in all their simplicity.
Because I’ve been working for the last year (almost), I’ve found it really hard to just stop and enjoy little things. Usually my mind is preoccupied with its to-do list, and I’m just thinking about the next thing that needs marking off. It doesn’t leave a lot of time for just relaxing and enjoying the moment. Not working is freeing up my time, and my mind a little more, giving me space to stop and live in the moment. And the moments can be pretty awesome. 🙂
Like swimming time. It’s usually something Boatman does with the kids whilst I catch up on blog related stuff, but now of course that duty falls to me. And whilst I’m not a person who enjoys just sitting in the water for the sake of it (I want to swim or be in the ocean ideally), I am enjoying just sitting and watching the kids. So much so, that I even forgot to take a photo.
Until they pointed out that perhaps I needed to clean the pool.
And then there is the joy in ice-cream. Obviously ice cream itself is quite a joyous event, but the other night, instead of thinking about all the things I needed to do, I sat and watched all the different ways my kids eat it.
For instance BJ and Ava, both lick the ice-cream down the cone until their tongues can reach no further, and then attack the cone ruthlessly.
Bridie eats the cone quickly, licking up the ice cream as she goes.
And Taylah, when she is not shoving the whole thing in her mouth, does a balanced act of cone and cream, similar to how I do it.
I had never noticed before how they all eat so differently, and there was something so beautiful about taking the moment to stop and realise how they do it.
Plus, you know, ice-cream 🙂
And so despite the fact that my heart hurts, and that I’ve spent a lot of time over the last few days feeling as though I may throw up, I’m determined to keep looking for those moments of joy. Because ultimately that’s what’s going to get me through.
How do you eat your ice-cream?
Linking with Rhianna