I feel the need to write to you, because, let’s face it, if it shows up in your blog reader you’re more likely to take notice.
I’m just writing tell you that it’s ok.
It’s ok, and you’ll be ok.
Yes, you are finding it tough. Boatman is working lots and you can’t remember his last day off. That’s not easy for either of you, but you feel like you have the raw end of the deal. At least he gets out of the house and on the water; you do the same washing, cleaning and ironing every day. You’re exhausted, I get that. But it’s just for a few more weeks, and then who knows what’s gonna happen?
Jess, you’ve gotta stop feeling guilty. At some point you have to lower your standards. Yes, it is good to be the best you, you can be, but you also have to give yourself the freedom to fail. You’re not perfect, and you never will be. It’s ok to make mistakes. It’s ok to say, ‘this is too much.’ It’s ok to let go of your own superimposed rules and regulations. If they’re not helping, then they’re not working.
You’re a good mum.
Yes, you maybe yell too much and your patience could be better, but you never stop trying. I see you, when no one else does. I hear you pray for strength and wisdom. I know, that even when the temptation to get up and walk away is great, you just keep going.
And honestly, look at your kids; they are awesome. They are smart, and funny and considerate. They are a blessing to people around them. You are so busy trying to help them be better (as you work on your own flaws), that sometimes you forget to see how close to perfect they already are. As close to perfect as any kids can be.
Dear Jess, you’re a fun person. That’s who you are. You’re not being true to yourself when you are so uptight. The housework will always be there. The ironing will wait. And the blog comments you are so desperate to reply to? Well half the people half forgotten they even wrote there in the first place.
You need to step back, calm down, and find the joy. Whatever it takes.
Less frazzle, more dazzle and all that jazz.
Keep going Jess. You know I think you’re awesome.
PS No, you’re not fat. Stop looking at yourself like that.
Linking with With Some Grace