The other day I read an article about several shows that the ABC had canceled in Australia due to public complaints. It all started with Peppa Pig and Mr Skinny Legs. Having seen that particular episode, I will admit that when Peppa (or whoever it was) declared that spiders are friendly I laughed out loud. And then I would have said a rude word if rude words were what I actually used.
Anyway the article went on to detail other episodes that had been canned for whatever reason, and I was quite surprised that the ABC took those complaints so seriously, as most were downright laughable. It then made me wonder what would happen if I were to write to the ABC about shows I would like to see? Could they possibly procure them, or in many instances, contact the show’s producers and get the episodes drafted?
Well you can see where this is going can’t you?
It has come to my attention recently, that you are taking requests from members of the public regarding your programming schedule. This pleases me greatly, not only because you are so accommodating, but because I have a few requests of my own, and I just know that you will do your best to see them eventuate.
Firstly, I would really like to meet Charlie and Lola’s parents. I assume they exist, because someone is always shouldering Charlie with parental responsibility, but it does bother me that we have never seen them. Why is that? Are they not pretty enough for TV? Are they camera shy? Or do they actually not exist, and Charlie and Lola are orphans with ghosts for parents? Which would make for a much different, and yet still rather intriguing (although creepy) story.
Secondly, you know Norman Price? The incorrigible young ranga from Fireman Sam, who is always in trouble, and despite what I assume the producers are going with, is not loveable? Can he for once, get in some serious trouble? And not just a stern word from Sam or Elvis or Station Officer, what’s his name, but rather be subjected to some actual, severe, life-threatening, terrifying incident that causes him to at least try not to get into so much trouble. I think, for the safety of the town he needs it. In reality he should be in Juvie by now.
And while we are on the subject of bratty children, can someone please tell that Little Princess ‘no’. Just once. It won’t hurt her, but her screams hurt me. My ears and my feelings.
I would like to see a documentary version of In The Night Garden. I think David Attenborough could do that quite well. In the program could we please discover exactly what Makka Pakka is, and maybe get some help for his OCD. I would also dearly like to know where Iggle Piggle sails to every night, and how he makes it back to the garden without drowning. He doesn’t wear a life jacket you know.
Ben and Holly is the clear favourite when it comes to TV programmes in this family, and it’s quite obviously because it appeals to me as well as the kids. The sexual chemistry between Nanny Plum and The Wise Olf Elf keeps me guessing every episode, and I would dearly love to see them finally realise their exceedingly great affection for one another. I understand this might not be suitable for children, so I would suggest that it be organised for a later time slot, and a more appropriate rating attached.
Could you please follow-up this program with a similarly themed episode of Bob the Builder. How he and Wendy aren’t together already I have no idea.
Finally, I do quite enjoy the celebrity guest posts on Sesame Street. Do you think you could organise Josh Radnor at some point? No real reason, I just think he and Elmo would get along. He could say how he met the letter E or something.
And with that, I conclude my letter. I look forward to receiving your reply.
PS. On the very off chance that someone from the ABC actually reads this, it was all written firmly tongue in cheek.
Except for the part about Nanny Plum and The Wise Old Elf.
And Josh Radnor.
Apart from that, I’m not being serious. Much. You do a great job, by the way.
Do you think they will oblige me?
What would you like to see on kids television?