It’s Thursday morning, and I’m frustrated.
Ava is grumpy about who knows what, and has spent all morning crying every time I put her down. She also has immunisations in an hour, that I will have to wake her up for.
Bailey will not stop talking. He is going on and on and if I don’t answer him he gets so upset and screams at me that I’m not listening to him.
Bridie doesn’t want to go to school. Every morning it is a fight to get her moving.
And Taylah lives in this dream world where she has the inability to function with the tv on, which it was this morning, because I was trying to hear the news while eating my breakfast. An impossible task with a screaming baby and talkative toddler.
We have things to work on. I need to address Bridie’s lying, the fact that Ava is getting into everything because I haven’t provided enough structure, Bailey’s complete lack of self control and melt downs, and Taylah’s distractibility.
I have two half written blog posts on my computer. I can’t find time to finish them, and one of them is forcing me to look at myself, and prod in some uncomfortable places.
I have a basket of ironing to finish, and I can see toys under the couch again.
To be honest, I don’t feel thankful. I feel like a parenting failure.
But because I feel like this, I am choosing to be thankful. I’m going to find something that brings me joy and gratitude and hold on to that in the craziness of today.
And it is this.
I took this last night. Ava was all cuddled up on Boatman’s lap, and he was rubbing her tummy. She was like a little kitten; still and satisfied, and he was the picture of a daddy in love with his little girl.
I am so thankful for this man. He is an incredible dad and husband. He is constantly putting us first, and I don’t give him enough credit. His kids adore him. When he comes home, the minute Ava hears his voice she will start crying until the minute he picks her up. The others clamour for his attention, and fight to tell him about their day.
Bailey asks him repeatedly if he can jump off his head.
Everyday he goes to a job he hates that is doing nothing for his career, because that’s the best way he can support us.
I hit the lotto with this one.
And I am so very thankful to God, that I have him.