This post was written in collaboration with Dorel.
Have you ever been struck by an angry bird? And not of the computer variety.
A serious angry bird that is hell-bent on pecking our your eyes or possibly stealing your hair to lay its nest.
It was a uni day, like any other. I drove my little car to the farthest edge of the campus, which was of course the only place with free parking. The down side was that the walk to any classroom with heavy text-book was liable to leave you needing physio for the rest of your life.
This particular day, I parked my red ford laser on the left side of the car park, driving past a humble grey bird sitting in the middle of the car park. My humanitarian heart reached out to the poor creature, whom I was sure had been hit by an errant driver, and was suffering a slow painful death. Exiting the car, I cautiously made my way over to the creature, wondering what I would do with it whilst in class.
Turned out it was a pointless thought. That harmless grey bird was in fact a violent plover protecting its nest. The original angry bird chased me all the way back to my car in full view of many emerging students, tearing away not only my compassion, but my pride as well.
I was later to discover that plovers (or flubbers as my nephew called them), are amongst the crankiest birds on the planet. Weird, cause I’ve never seen them in the app.
However it’s not just plovers. Just the other day I received this message from my good friend Erin.
And then Chantal, was telling me about her dramas with magpies. To cut a long story short, those birds were the reason her fitness class run faster around the oval. Which could quite possibly be the cure to childhood obesity right there. 😉
It got me thinking, ‘why are all the birds so angry?’ Why the desire to peck and torment every living creature that comes anywhere near them.
It’s an easy answer really. What other choice do they have? They have a nest to protect and protect it they must, at all costs! If only there was another way? If only they realised that when it comes to creating comfort and safety for their young, they could look further than their own tree tops.
I’ve come to the startling realisation, that apart from those very few angry birds who exist inside my iPhone, most birds have not discovered the internet, and thus the possibilities therein.
If they had, they would know that instead of stealing fur from Chantal’s dog, to line their nest, they could instead nestle their newborns in one of these gorgeous bassinets, as found at Dorel Australia.
Or that rather than leaving their newborn alone whilst they search for nests, they could take them with them, all safe an secure in the titan infant carrier from Baby Value.
And if they were really smart, all those daddy birds would realise their chances of getting a little ‘something-something’ from that poor mummy who had just pused a giant egg out of her hoo-ha, would be hugely increased, if, in fact they gave her one of these gorgeous hospital packs from What A Mummy Wants, as opposed to a worm.
Because seriously daddy birds, no new mummy wants a worm. I don’t care how nutritious it is.
But I would have been more than happy with one of those packs. Who wouldn’t?
Clearly, the solution to Bird Anger Management, and that of any particular humans who are also at the end of their tether trying to work out where to get the best baby products at great prices, is just to visit any of the afore mentioned sites. I’m quite convinced that in doing so, any need to attack the backs of head or cause permanent vision loss, will disappear at the drop of a hastily removed eye ball.
And will save any future offspring from a fate such as this:
Did baby shopping make you want to tear out your hair, or anyone else’s?
Have you ever been the victim of an Angry Bird?