On Friday my washing machine passed on.
It had been sick for a little while. The locking mechanism was sporadic, and it gradually ran out of steam to rinse the clothes.
Still it battled on, with daily encouragement for me. I pushed all the right buttons and did everything I could.
Sadly, it was not enough.
I haven’t bought a new one.
I just can’t do it. When your washing machine dies, it’s like losing a member of the family, and it can’t be replaced by something new and prettier, and with a spin cycle. That’s just rude.
And besides, having a broken washing machine does have its advantages.
Advantage number one
Your husband comes home to play Mr Fix it.
In Grey’s Anatomy, (and possibly real life), a person can not be declared dead until a doctor says it. It’s the same with the mechanical appliances in our house. Although I am closer to the washing machine than I am with some of my best friends, it took the McDreamy of the house to come home from work to make sure it actually wasn’t working.
Advantage Number Two
Now as you can imagine, a home of six people can not afford to take long off from washing the clothes, so something must be done.
Enter hand washing.
Whilst some may think this is truly an appalling thing, it is not without it’s benefits.
The following advantages are based upon the assumption that a broken washing machine automatically leads to hand washing.
Let’s face it, when you wash your clothes it usually involves you sticking it in the machine, then going inside and reading IBOT posts.
Hand washing forces you to spend time in the great outdoors, enjoying the fresh air, and all the miracles of nature.
Like dog turd.
Now the most economical wash cycle is obviously a cold wash. But sometimes you want some warmer water to get things really clean, or kill the extra germs.
Because your washing bucket is situated outside on the lawn, and you use the hose to fill it, the solution to cheap hot water is simple; just leave everything in the sun. In the hot summer months it won’t take long to warm up.
And if a cold wash is what you want, use the shade! Simple!
Advantage Number Five
Michelle Obama Arms
Now Michelle Obama is not only famous because of her husband, but also because she has quite possibly the nicest arms ever.
I mean, look at them.
Whilst magazines may tell you that it is a combination of tricep dips and bicep curls that keep her trim, taut and terrific, I personally think she just has a bucket of dirty towels on the back lawn of the White House.
Watch this space; a few more weeks of hand washing and my arms will be looking fab!
Advantage Number Six
No spin dry
Now why this may seem an odd advantage, let me explain.
For starters, your clothes don’t get all pulled into weird angles.
Secondly, business shirts that are hung on the line sopping wet are much easier to iron.
Thirdly, everything takes much longer to dry, so the folding doesn’t hang around the living room for days.
Fourthly, (is that a word?), any washing left on the line during the rain automatically gets another rinse (bonus!)
And fifthly, you can’t possibly hang sopping wet clothes on clothes airers in the house, so your house will no longer resemble a Chinese laundry, but will just be its usually messy self.
Advantage Number Seven
It doesn’t matter if you forget
If you’re anything like me, you will put washing in the machine, then get distracted by
When your washing is in a bucket at the back of a house and you forget about it, it’s not laziness; it’s a long soak.
Advantage Number Eight
Constant exposure to washing detergent dries out your hands and makes them feel gross. As a result, I have been madly moisturising every time I do the washing.
Which is a lot.
Let’s face it, our kids rely on technology far too much these day. Just yesterday my 17 month old said, ‘daddy, bay iPad?’
I couldn’t believe it either.
Having no washing machine is getting back to basics, and showing the little people how housework is really done.
Plus it is fun.
Whilst you’re churning the clothes vigorously, and turning tuck shop lady arms into a thing of the past, it gives you time to think about the important things in life.
Like Blogger of the Mo.
And how the clothes in your bucket are representative of a buoy floating in ocean, and that The Bling Buoy is one of the best IBOT commenters you have ever seen, chasing you around the blogosphere as you sail from post to post. Misha is most definitely worthy of the honour for her commitment, generosity, and also that she survived rapids under the curious eye of a crocodile.